Friday, September 27, 2013

A Somewhat Muddled Personal Post

I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I know I've been absent for quite some time--not only have I not been posting, I haven't even been reading and commenting on your blogs.

I started a new job at the end of August. I am now a full-time lecturer at a university. It's my first full-time job, and I'm essentially on "probation." I have a nine-month contract, and then the department decides whether or not they want to hire me permanently. Thus, I find myself taking on added responsibilities: on top of teaching, I am also volunteering on a few other projects. I also tend to go above and beyond when it comes to my teaching responsibilities--for example, today was supposed to be my day off and I spent about six hours commenting on second drafts for some of my struggling students who requested tutoring. Basically, I'm a sucker who can't say no when people ask for help or volunteers.

(I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about being employed. I have insurance and on Tuesday, I get my first "grown-up" paycheck, so things are looking better for me than they have in awhile. It's just been overwhelming, exciting, and a little scary.)

I have not played TS3 since the end of August (gasp!). Part of the reason is because if I load up the game, I'll feel guilty--like I have to play Polly Bee and friends and write something. I've basically made up a weird obligation that the only thing I can do in TS3 is play my random legacy, but I just don't feel like playing it right now. I love writing this blog and participating in this challenge, but I don't feel like I have the energy to put into planning out stories and chapters. When I come home from work, a lot of times I just want to do mindless, boring things, and writing this blog is challenging and non-boring. I also haven't been keeping up with blogs simply because I read your blogs and enjoy them and think, "Man, I suck. Like, hard." I'm a bit of a workaholic, and I've started to treat this blog like it's work, which is dumb.

Anyway, this has all be a long, personal post filled with first-world problems. What I want to say is this:
  1. I plan to catch up on your blogs soon, hopefully over the next week or so. I've been denying myself the pleasure of reading your blogs simply because I feel guilty about my own "failure."
  2. I am not quitting this blog. I don't know if I'll ever finish the legacy (I gotta be honest: I might play the Sims 4 when it comes out), but I am not planning on quitting anytime soon. I swear, there will be some resolution between Polly and Crux! ;)
  3. I don't know when I will write the next chapter. I want to at least finish Generation 1 before the end of the year.
  4. I am a huge ball of stress right now, and I might alleviate that by treating myself to something from the Sims Store and playing the fuck out of it tonight.
  5. I might make a more relaxed blog where I post dumb pictures and one-shot stories every once and awhile. I can't play the Sims without making up some sort of story in my head, but I don't neccessarily want to "play" the same story all the time.
Okay, I'm sorry again. I'm being very dramatic, I know, but I think I just needed to vent about some very silly things. Feel free to leave me any questions re: the blog or whatever, and I'll answer them.


  1. Good to hear from you! Ah yes, the old fun vs. work dilemma. We've missed you, and missed your comments, but we'd rather you get to it when you can and still be a part of our community, rather than feel you've 'failed' and withdraw entirely. C'mon, it's Sims! There is no failure! There is only Fun! I've struggled this semester myself, mostly just with getting screen shots, because posing takes me awhile.

    Enjoy playing sims tonight, and congrats on the new job! That is awesome!

    (and I do look forward to Crux's Resolution)

  2. Hey, I'm glad you let us know how you've been. (: And I'm happy to know there will be more Beehive in the future. I can be patient. ^.^

  3. I'm glad to hear you're doing okay and nothing sinister was the cause of your absence. Congratulations on the job and good luck with the probationary period. It sounds like they would be fools not to keep you. Just make sure not too burn too bright and burn yourself out in a short period of time.

    As for sims and blogging, I know what you mean. I took time off. Started a new project. Worked on another project. Took a break from sims altogether and just finally posted an update over a month after my last one. I'm past my 2 year anniversary for the Avendales and not officially on Generation 7 yet so don't feel bad! Work on what you will enjoy and have fun doing whatever you have time for!

  4. I'd really been wondering if you were alright, and I'm glad to know it's nothing awful. A legacy, or any game for that matter, should never feel like work. Go play and make fun of the stupid things your sims do. Or go blow them up and laugh. Or have them beat up a look a like of whoever is overseeing your probationary period. Destress. Relax. We'll gladly wait. And you do Not suck. Not hard or any other kind of suck. Your story is really well done and wonderfully thought out. Just don't beat yourself up so bad. Ok? *hugs

    As to that tag on this post- you did it because you're awesome and knew we'd want to know. And also so we could all tell you that it's ok and that life happens. That's why.

  5. Glad to hear you haven't died a horrible, painful death! (my mind always jumps to dark conclusions)
    *gives sensuous massage*

    Ok, so, we love you, I guess. Ok. No. I'm mad. Of course I'm mad, I LOVE this story. But, real life happens to the best of us, we all understand and hope you don't feel guilty (really, please don't! You had the decency to tell us where you were, some people just dissapear for ages and I worry that they died.)

    You do suck, but only lightly and in a good way...
    Ok, you don't suck, sorry about that. If you want to rant, feel free to PM me on MTS and just let it alllll out! Work is what gets in the way for me too, so I know exactly how you feel.

    Good luck passing your probationary, but it sounds like it's a sure thing all the work you're putting in! But, as heaven said, don't burn yourself out, missy!

    Don't worry about getting the next chapter out soon (ok, do worry, I miss you), just work at your own pace. Hey, maybe that store-set you treated yourself to will get you back into it?

    <3 hugs and kisses <3
    i hate you.
    Not really. xx

  6. You shouldn't feel so sorry. In fact, you shouldn't feel sorry at all! :-) It's understandable you don't feel like putting too much effort into writing, all with your new job (Congrats, by the way!). Just relax, and please, don't deny yourself any pleasure :-). If you just want to play randomly, then by all means do that!

    I'm pretty new to reading this blog (in fact I was just catching up by the time you published your last post), so it's hardly my place to say this, but it makes me very sad that you're feeling guilty :-(. You don't suck.

    That said, I was highly enjoying this legacy (it's beautiful, and endearing, and refreshing, and very well thought out), so I'd love to see an update to this in the future, but no pressure :-).