Sunday, September 14, 2014

Short Intermission

I've been kind of holding off on posting this even though it's been eating at me.

I found out a couple of weeks ago I'm pregnant, and it's very unplanned. Just about everyone around me is excited and happy, and I find myself extremely depressed and ambivalent. I feel like my life is ending. I haven't really been able to concentrate on anything except my work (and even then, I'm not doing as good a job as I usually do). I'm also constantly tired, so when I have free time I sleep. As a result, I really haven't been keeping up with blogs or tumblrs (obviously) and I've been finding it very hard to write. I also feel like "what's the point? Future-parasite will eat up all my time and I'll never ever have fun again" (and I think this while crying uncontrollably, even though I rarely cry). Needless to say, the hormones are absolutely wrecking me, and I've found out that prenatal depression is incredibly real. Hopefully it'll go away soon.

Anyway, I really don't want to abandon this blog. I just want to do mindless stuff for awhile. My midwife actually recommended taking some time to really indulge myself in hobbies that might be seen as "timewasters" if it makes me feel better, so I've been playing MMOs that don't really require me to think (believe it or not, I think A LOT while playing the Sims, so whenever I try to play or write I just end up making myself upset). I have my next chapter half-written, and I promise I'll be back soonish.

Anyway, next time one of you questions how your legacy sim got pregnant when they should be smart enough not to, just keep me in mind.