I've been kind of holding off on posting this even though it's been eating at me.
I found out a couple of weeks ago I'm pregnant, and it's very unplanned. Just about everyone around me is excited and happy, and I find myself extremely depressed and ambivalent. I feel like my life is ending. I haven't really been able to concentrate on anything except my work (and even then, I'm not doing as good a job as I usually do). I'm also constantly tired, so when I have free time I sleep. As a result, I really haven't been keeping up with blogs or tumblrs (obviously) and I've been finding it very hard to write. I also feel like "what's the point? Future-parasite will eat up all my time and I'll never ever have fun again" (and I think this while crying uncontrollably, even though I rarely cry). Needless to say, the hormones are absolutely wrecking me, and I've found out that prenatal depression is incredibly real. Hopefully it'll go away soon.
Anyway, I really don't want to abandon this blog. I just want to do mindless stuff for awhile. My midwife actually recommended taking some time to really indulge myself in hobbies that might be seen as "timewasters" if it makes me feel better, so I've been playing MMOs that don't really require me to think (believe it or not, I think A LOT while playing the Sims, so whenever I try to play or write I just end up making myself upset). I have my next chapter half-written, and I promise I'll be back soonish.
Anyway, next time one of you questions how your legacy sim got pregnant when they should be smart enough not to, just keep me in mind.
Oh, honey. Oh honey. *hugshugshugs. This will sound so trite and shallow, but it does get better. Those first few months are absolutely awful. At least, if you're lucky it's only the first few. Hopefully it doesn't go much past the 4th. My first was totally unplanned (birth control baby!) and I knew just how much he was going to derail all those grandiose plans we had going on in our heads. He did, but for different reasons. There is no reason why a baby will keep you from what you love, and you never know. Maybe baby will become what you love too. Hang in there. k? And sleep! Don't feel bad about sleeping! You need it. *more hugs. And chocolate lots of chocolate.
ReplyDeleteGrats, even if your not thrilled about it at the moment. Don't worry about that either, not every pregnant woman smiles and think it's the best thing ever. It's not because you're bad, it's because of the hormones (really). And just keep on sleeping, it's the baby that takes all the energy.
ReplyDeleteAnd as Sunny says, it seems like a kid will take away all your time, but it actually doesn't. After all, every one else manages it, so why shouldn't you? No one ever has time for a baby and a life. But, everyone that has a baby always have time to have a life. Just be aware that if the sadness keeps on after the baby comes, seek help. Because then you have birth depressions, and that's honestly not very fun.
You're sick of all the good advices aren't you ;)
I know I rarely comment on your legacy and I'm badly behind atm, but I just want you to know that I'll be thinking about you. *big hugs* I never want kids myself, but I had a horrible pregnancy scare once several years ago involving a really awful situation with a guy I didn't even like (or know very well!). That's probably TMI, but I can totally sympathize with how you're feeling right now, even if it is under different circumstances. If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me on MTS or at my tumblr and I will give you my email address. *more hugs*
ReplyDeleteI know you might not be happy about it right now, but I'm happy for you, I think that may be because I'm still around the age where babies can be cute sometimes. I've never really been through what you're going through, so I'm not all too helpful... If you ever need to talk about anything I'll try my best to help out whenever I can *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAnd you never know, you might end up somewhat liking future time eating parasite :)
Sorry I'm not better at being helpful with this kind of stuff... :/
Oh owly! *Hugs* I don't have any experience with pregnancy myself so I will defer to those that do. Take whatever time you need - sleeping, not thinking, whatever. I do hope that Sunny is right and that after the first few months that everything will balance out and you'll start to feel better about this, both physically and emotionally. I know you've had plenty of offers for an ear (eye?) but you can add me to that list and contact me whenever you'd like. *hugs again*
ReplyDeleteAw, *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI have no experience with being pregnant or having babies, so Sunny will probably be more helpful to you. Just go ahead and indulge yourself and be a diva because people will do anything for a pregnant woman.
Im going to throw my ears/eyes into the ring in terms of someone to talk to. You have a big support group in us.
ReplyDeleteHopefully after all the shock wears off you start feeling a little better about it all.